that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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