I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
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tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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