THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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