addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
