I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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