I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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