dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
