LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
