FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
