I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
