no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
