I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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