it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
