No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
