I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize