i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
