i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How does one acquire holy water?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
