Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Come share oat with me in your robe
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
