Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
