I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
