Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
