Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
