i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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