kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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