I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
