If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
