Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
