Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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