Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
