Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
