Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want to have your abortion
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
