he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
