dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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