Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
