i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
