it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize