on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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