this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
