Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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