i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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