oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Donβt say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
