kristin has been a bad kristin
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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