Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
