i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
