The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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