Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
