I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He has the fingertips of a God
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