Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
