I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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