Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
