i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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