Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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