Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Do vagina's smell?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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