In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
