I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize