Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Randomize
