Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
nutella sex= disaster
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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