Christians are straight up FREAKS
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
