so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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