I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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