1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize