I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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