which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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