as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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