My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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