I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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