MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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