don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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