I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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